What Are You Choosing?
We make choices every minute, hour, day, week and so on. What we choose leads us to where we are now, and who we are.
Yes, there are external events that occur, that reveal we are not in total control, however, how we deal with what shows up is our choice. There are always several choices, maybe not all the ones we want, at the time, but there are always choices.
Each choice we make leads us on a path to wellbeing or not. Each choice gets us closer to what we say we want in our lives or further away from it.
What if we want to be different than we are now? What if we want to have a better life than we have now?
What are the odds of having or getting what we want in life?
Some of us have greater challenges or odds to face than others.
With 75% of Americans being effected by addiction and or mental health disorders in their families, it’s pretty challenging to figure out choices for a healthy emotional life.
The National Association of Mental Illness (NAMI) tells us 1 in 4, or @ 58 million Americans – experience a mental health disorder in a given year. Four of the leading 10 causes of disability are mental health disorders.
The National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependency ( NCADD) lets us know there are more deaths and disabilities each year from substance abuse than from any other cause. More than half of all adults have a family history of alcoholism or problem drinking. More than 9 million children live with a parent who is dependent on alcohol and or illicit drugs. About 18 million Americans have alcohol problems, and 56- million have drug problems.
When I interned at NCADD while acquiring my first Master’s degree , we learned that there are 4-5 significant family members or loved ones deeply effected by the addiction in their families. Usually spouses and children.
How is healthy parenting, self esteem, emotional and social skills to be learned in these families?
No wonder there is an avid increase in bullying and emotional violence in our schools and workplaces.
If we did not get healthy care or modeling at home – how are we to learn healthy models for ourselves, relationship building, and peaceful problem solving or choose trustworthy friends, love partners, and business/work environments?
What Are You Choosing? continued page 2 of 2
Albeit, if not at home, there are others resources to learn from. There is Chosen Family, physical education and sport coaches, inspirational television, Scout leaders, extended family, and model others who have the qualities we want in ourselves.
There is also individual and group counseling, 12 step meetings and sponsors, and self awareness seminars. All help teach healthy boundaries, and increase self esteem.
For adult children who were effected by dysfunctional parenting, or spouses effected by addiction and or mental health disorders, there are ways to have a healthy life, anyway.
The choices towards self care are not the same as being selfish. The choices we make lead toward our self care or self destruction or obstruction. Our choices also effect those around us- as “no man is an island” unto him or herself.
Each minute, hour, day or week of choices takes us in a direction of well being or more challenges. Each choice is a stepping stone in the direction of better living or self destruction.
As we choose the steps to wellbeing, ie. “Find and Follow the Good “™ and do the inner work to “Be Better Than Before”™ , our lives do get better and our impact on others improves.
We take on characteristics of being ‘Our Own Hero” ™ .
Developing self trust, also helps us to be trustworthy to others. Trust in relationships speeds positive results in all relationships – love, platonic, and business/work.
Problems are solved easier, quicker, and peaceably.
Self trust is the first key to Success- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Good success to you in Choosing to be Incredible, Be Your Own Hero, – getting the Life you want and making Shift Happen.
Victoria Rei, Best Selling Author
CHOOSE To Be Incredible- Get more from Life and Make Shift Happen